Josef Fritzl

Last night Steve Big Boy Ball and Big Bob Baker and I tried to get out for a game of golf. The light evenings have arrived but the nice weather hasn’t. We finished our round and went into the bar dripping wet and soaked through. As usual our discussion turned to current events. Our main topic was the stunning news of the Austrian pervert who kept his daughter locked up and used her as a sex slave.

It is almost impossible to believe that anyone would do this. As a man with girls of my own, I have every sympathy with the woman herself and the rest of the family. Unfortunately the uncaring majority seemed to find sick jokes buzzing through the ether on to their mobile phones funny.

Sharon Matthews mother was the last person to bear the jokes and jibes for hiding her daughter in a divan bed for a fortnight.

Josef Fritzl is the man who today confessed that he imprisoned his daughter in an underground chamber for 24 years and fathered her seven children by her.

She is now 42 years of age and is being looked after by Police.

I neither condone nor find funny the following selection of sick jokes.

Josef Fritzl Ltd. Cellar Conversion and Sound proofing specialist, a family business established 24 years.

An Old Austrian proverb, women are like a good wine, best left to mature in a cellar for 24 years.

The sound of Music 2 will be released shortly; it took 24 years to make this feature of the Von Trapped family from Austria.

I see a parent from Austria has hidden his daughter in his cellar for 24 years. If only Sharon Matthews could have thought of that.

When an Austrian father was asked how to teach children about sex education, he said he thought it was important to keep them in the dark for as long as possible.

One last one for Eric, who is up visiting his poorly Mum this weekend. As a Scotsman he likes to keep his money as close as he can to his person!

Man has a fifty pound note tattooed on his cock. His wife says why have you done that? He replies, for one I like to see my money grow. 2, I like to play with my money. 3, I like having money in my hand. Last but not least; the next time you want to blow fifty quid you can stay at home and do it.